Later it was printed on postcards by the Schwarzkopf family and was circulated in that fashion before it was ever conventionally printed. Mary has said she wrote it on a brown paper bag and that the words just came to her. It is said that Mary wrote this for Margaret and that it was Mary's first real attempt at poetry. Margaret Schwarzkopf was visiting Mary Elizabeth Frye who was living in Baltimore USA when Margaret's mother died. This is a version of a poem that, apparently was circulated as postcards printed by the Schwarzkopf family. Widowed in 1964, Frye is survived by her daughter. The version used here is regarded as the definitive one although many versions have been produced over the years. She never published or copyrighted the poem. In the UK a reading on the BBC television programme Bookworm in 1995 attracted more than 30,000 requests for copies and the following year a survey conducted by the programme pronounced it “the Nation’s Favourite Poem”.įrye continued to write, often to support animal charities, but none of her subsequent work matched the impact of that first piece. Today, it is often a feature at memorial services for disasters where there has been a large scale loss of life It was after the Lockerbie bombing in 1988, and the terror attack in New York in 2001. It was used on bereavement cards and at funerals regardless of race, religion or social status of those concerned. Passed from family to family it crossed national boundaries. The verse has a remarkable power to soothe loss and so it became popular. Many people liked the simple, uncomplicated nature of her little verse and she made many copies and circulated them privately. Later she stated that the words “just came to her” and expressed what she felt about life and death. When Schwarzkopf's mother finally died, the heartbroken youngster told Frye that she would never have the chance to “stand by my mother’s grave and shed a tear”.įrye found herself composing a piece of verse on the only paper she has to hand, a shopping bag. The young guest had been concerned about her mother, who was ill in Germany, but she had been counselled not to return home because of growing anti-Semitic feeling in her native land. In that year she and her husband had a young German Jewish girl, Margaret Schwarzkopf, staying with them. Prior to 1932 Frye had not written any poetry. She married Claud Frye in 1927 he ran a clothing business while she grew and sold flowers.Īfter much contoversy this Baltimore housewife was finally acknowledged, towards the end of her long life, to be the true author of the well-known bereavement verse "Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep." This famous verse has brought comfort to mourners throughout the world for the past 70 years but there were many other claimants to its authorship, including attributions to traditional and native American origins.įrye’s assertion that she wrote the piece was eventually confirmed in 1998 following exhaustive research by Abigail Van Buren, the newspaper columnist responsible for the popular column “Dear Abby”. Although she had had no formal education, she was an avid reader with a remarkable memory. Frye, housewife and poet, was born on November 13th 1905 and died on September 15th 2004 at the age of 98īorn Mary Elizabeth Clark in Dayton, Ohio, Frye was orphaned at the age of 3 and moved to Baltimore when she was 12. This poem has become beloved by people the world over to express their own sorrows. It is said that she never received a penny for her poem 'Do Not Stand at my Grave' which was written in 1932 for a young German Jewish girl who had lost her Mother and was advised not to return to Germany due to the rising anti-semitism. Mary Frye was an American housewife and poet and is chiefly remembered for a single poem.